Only Connect…Or Only Collect? The Whole Follower Question

“Only connect! That was the whole of her sermon. Only connect the prose and the passion, and both will be exalted, and human love will be seen at its height. Live in fragments no longer. Only connect…”

E.M. Forster

INTRODUCTION

While it is probably unwise to begin a blog post by quoting superior writer, it’s a mistake I’m going to repeat twice, because it was the brilliant Corvida Raven, whose thoughtful musings served to kick start my little grey cells and nimble typing fingers. She asked the following question in terms of social media networks:

Everything is about connecting to others, but have you considered the type of connection you’d like to have with people?

FIRST A DISCLAIMER:

I’m not going to tip-toe through the minefield and muck of “suggested Twitter users” – dangerous territory already well covered elsewhere- like here for a start.

MOTIVE IS A MAJOR CONSIDERATION

Hopefully the most common answer to Corvida’s question is ” a meaningful one.”

But from where I sit, the type of connection a person has with someone on a social media network such as Twitter can depend on their motive for engaging with and being engaged by that network in the first place. Are they trying to connect – connect to ideas and increase your knowledge? Connect to people with whom they can discuss shared passions or debate differing outlooks? Or are they looking for something else entirely?

I SHALL LEAD YOU ?

Are they looking to boost their ego? More and more there seems to be a sharp increase in people simply looking to amass numbers – be elected electronic prom queen so-to-speak – rather than actually connect. A sort of  “Mine’s bigger than yours” mentality- only this time having to do with numbers of Twitter followers.

It’s a mindset that’s been encouraged by tools like twittergrader.com – something that was meant to be helpful in measuring marketing reach (itself a dubious prospect in terms of what these networks were designed for) that has instead somehow been twisted into a popularity meter for many a person.

You know you’ve seen those tweets – “I’m ranked number __ in the city of Oz.” And frankly it’s disheartening.

BUSINESSES TOO

And that’s just regarding individuals, that says nothing about the unfortunate new inroads spammers and unscrupulous marketers are trying to take.

It’s getting worse too. If you don’t believe me, take a look at more expert opinions – such as the one tweeted by PurpleCar (who writes quite a bit about online behaviour and does it very well)  yesterday when speaking of www.tweepme.com, an “opt-in group” to help rapidly build a base of followers.   “this is a total travesty” she tweeted, followed by “what’s the point of tweepme after a while? Mainstreamers will realize you can rig the system and not use twitter. Follow rates lost value”

EFFECT OF COLLECTORS

It seems to me that trend of collecting has had a tremendously negative impact, having lead to all kinds of dubious services and narcissistic behaviour. Collectors will pander, flirt and provoke shamelessly just to raise their numbers. This kind of tactic is very seductive but ultimately cheapens whatever “connection” there might be. How meaningful is your connection if you are one of thousands?

The truth of this is hammered home if you take into consideration a recent, beautifully crafted commentary on Posterous concerning Dunbar’s number.

In it Melanie McBride sagely noted:

“there are only so many people we can treat reasonably and thoughtfully given the fixed capacity of the human OS and available relationship RAM.“

IN THE END

If you are in fact considering the type of connection that you want to have online, if you want to have meaning, doesn’t it seem better to focus on quality than quantity?

Ironically, given his massive legion of followers, Robert Scoble may have best summed up why it is best not to be a collector and not to focus so much on the size of your following:

If you define yourself by who is following you you’ll always feel inadequate. After all, you can’t control your followers and any idiot can follow people. But, define yourself by who you are following and you can really build something of high value.

In other words, isn’t it best for the tenor of these social networks and your experience on them that people try — really try — to connect and not just to collect?

FriendFeed: Trolling for Trouble?

Social media can be a wonderful experience.

As anyone who looks at this blog with any frequency knows, I have been extolling the virtues of FriendFeed for some time.

Friendfeed is  a “lifestream aggregator.” What that means in “non-tech-speak” is that it is a place you can bring together all your various feeds. As Wikipedia astutely noted:

“Friendfeed consolidates the updates from social media and social networking websites, social bookmarking websites, blogs and micro-blogging updates, as well as any other type of RSS/ Atom feed. Users can use this stream of information to create customized feeds to share (and comment) with friends.

But it is more than that. So much more.

THE GOOD

FriendFeed is a place populated by a diverse group of individuals, some extremely intelligent. Not a day goes by where I do not learn something new about technology, arts, sports, literature and current events. And almost always I learn these things hours if not days before the mainstream media gets around to discussing the topics in question.  So FF is indeed a place to learn.

FriendFeed is also a place to interact. There are some truly complex, thoughtful, warm and witty people on there. For some, FF has become a  very strong community.

THE REALLY GOOD

A great example of this was the recent birth of a beautiful baby girl. So many people were so excited about the pregnancy and the birth – which the father actually twittered but still, FF was kept apprised. And there was genuine rejoicing over her entrance into the world.

And if people have connected through FF for a long time, they have developed shared jokes, common interests and a genuine concern for each other. There’s even been an FF-sparked romance between two really funny, smart, spirited and lovely individuals.

Why then am I thinking of leaving this community if it is all lollipops and rainbows and kittens? [LOL Cats to be more specific.]

THE BAD

It may be the phases of the moon or growing pains or the fact that the discussion of politics can bring out the worst in people. But as of late, many pockets of FF have been filled with drama and sniping and comments that are clearly designed to provoke people.

In the darker corners of FF, the  trolls have been out in force. For those not familiar with the term, here is a very good definition of a troll from a public-domain document known as The Jargon File:

An individual who… regularly posts specious arguments, flames or personal attacks… for no other purpose than to annoy someone or disrupt a discussion. Trolls are recognizable by the fact that they have no real interest in learning about the topic at hand – they simply want to utter flame bait. Like the ugly creatures they are named after, they exhibit no redeeming characteristics….

Most of the time I can ignore such behaviour. As the mother of a crafty, clever 4-year-old, I’ve been well-trained to do so: Tantruming wee children and trolls are not all that different. They both want attention and they want it NOW.

At least the children are cute.

THE UGLY

Common courtesy has become an oxymoron it seems. (Or maybe morons just don’t know how to be courteous? )

Right now on FF, many people seem to have lost the ability to agree to disagree or to debate things they don’t see eye-to-eye on civilly.

Today I reached my limit during a discussion of the Inauguration of President Obama. There has been a lot of excitement and hope generated by the Obama over on FF. And apparently trolls don’t like hope.

In response to a series of primarily positive comments I made, someone suggested that I go do something rather nasty.

That’s usually not a problem for me except what they suggested — an action that could be thought of as somewhat benign — was in fact the method used by someone I loved to end their existence. And having to relive that- to plummet to that kind of despair after having been so full of hope and joy – was too much.

The final straw snapped.

CONCLUSION

But please don’t take this as a condemnation of FriendFeed. With exceptions, it is a magnificent and lively group of  intriguing, intelligent souls. You just need to have infinite patience to deal with the few vile and insistent trolls oozing out from under that particular community’s bridge.

Alas,  my patience has reached its limits – and thus, regretfully, my time on FF likely has too.

Twitter Feeling Less Chirpy: The Migration is Well Underway?

Despite the fact that there must have been a chorus of “hosannas” when Jon Stewart briefly referenced them on The Daily Show the other night, the folks at Twitter might not be feeling too chipper (or chirpy) at the moment.

Over on FriendFeed as of late, amongst many of the early adopters and A-listers, much of the discussion has been about leaving Twitter.

Alas, microblogging service, they just can quit you.

The Early (Adopter) Warning Signs

It’s not like anyone missed the signs that this was coming. Citing FriendFeed once again– mostly because that’s where the flock with foresight have flown –there have been innumerable posts about Twitter’s status noting whether it was up, whether tweets were vanishing into the ether or whether it was so down that nothing was happening and even the fail whale was too ashamed to make an apologetic appearance.

But What About Those Who Came Into the Conversation Late?

As a recent but really curious newcomer to social media, it’s been fascinating to actually watch the adoption curve of the trend in action. Because just as the earlies are flying off for more hospitable climates, there are many late adopters who are using Twitter and enjoying the process. For example, it has been a way for classmates to keep each other apprised of cancellations and summarize the substance of classes missed.

Personally, Twitter and I had more of a flirtation than a love affair. I only gave it a whirl (or twhirl?) for a few months before leaving it last week.

I didn’t like the fact that its concise nature seemed to encourage or even crystallize narcissism in some cases, or that you couldn’t really place a conversation in context.

That’s one of the things I like about FriendFeed. You can get the whole conversation and its offshoots in one spot. It often makes for fascinating reading as well as engaging participation.

What Does This Mean For Twitter- and for Its Users?

Poor Twitter – you can’t help feeling sorry for the former favourite. Especially as the disappointed and displeased word-of-mouth by former influential fans has spread in intensity and scale faster than a nasty virus at a preschool.

Is Twitter doomed? Or has it merely lost the favour of the tech elite? Is the mainstream still using the microblogging service – or are they leaving in droves also? And where are they going- Jaiku? Plurk? FriendFeed?

I know my chirping days are over but what about you: Will you continue to tweet? And if you do, will there be anyone to answer back at this point?

And if you were Twitter- how would you handle this increasingly dire situation?

My Cookies Didn’t Come From a Cutter: A Small Issue with LinkedIn

This is just a quick observation as it is actually a nice day and I’d like to get my fish-belly white self outside with my daughter.

LinkedIn: The Good

The business-themed social media network LinkedIn is a very good idea. I love the fact you can find and catch-up with former workplace acquaintances and make new connections while getting your credentials out there. I love the fact it is another way to build relationships through technology.

LinkedIn: The Bad?

But what happens if you have an untraditional resume? What if you are someone who held down two part-time jobs and did a lot of interesting volunteer work simultaneously? Or what if you were such a keen and hyper-caffeinated oddity that you held a full-time and a part-time job at the same time? (Guilty as charged.)

There isn’t really a way to make that comprehensible in LinkedIn’s format without a rambling explanation in the summary box. It would be nice if there were a bit more flexibility or customization possible.

But Don’t Blame LinkedIn, Look to HR Practices

That said, I realize it isn’t LinkedIn’s fault as much as the accepted practices of HR these days. Sometimes a human doesn’t even see your resume, which means if you don’t have the standard “normal” progression of events on your resume, a machine will kick you to the curb as it doesn’t allow you a chance to explain why you deviate.

So, Who Can Play?

And that’s an issue worth noting because, as mentioned in a recent article on Ragan.com by Chuck Hester, corporate communications director for iContact:

“LinkedIn has become the default location for CVs and resumes, to the point where recruiters, partners or clients may search LinkedIn for your credentials and stop there. (And if you’re not there, you won’t look like a player.)”

So does that mean those of us who have lead vaguely unusual lives can’t play?